A Goblin's Heroic Day
Okay soz dis is a story about howz I killed a whole army of stunties and saved da whole marshez outpost. Oh and got rich too.
Anyway I'm runnin along in da swamp, and I sees dis ork boy standin at da base of a hill. He tellz me that therez a bunch of stunties wit cannons up on dat dere hill, and he sez if I dont come wit em and kill all da stunties, he's gonna eat me!
Now I'z usually not likin' threatz n wot not, but dis ork was pretty big, and I wuz thinkin he could prob'ly outrun me, so I figgure best to listen to im.
Soz we run around da hill tryin to find our way up, but dere's no bloody path up the hill! Da ork sez to me that there's no way up there, but I figgurez there has to be, cuz the stunties got up there, right? Right. (I'm smart like dat)
So rite about here dis other goblin comes runnin by us, bein chased by deez ghosts. (I knew dey were ghosts cuz I could see thru em.) Da ork laffs at im, but I want to elp im, cuz I think maybe I seen him before somewhere. Soz I send my squig friend at da ghosts after im, and da ork charges at em, cuz he aint gonna be showed up by no squig!
Soz we save dis goblin, and it just so happenz he knows of a cave dat leads up da hill, but dere's a bunch of ghosts in dere. (Same ghosts dat was chasin him, I figgured)
Dis doesn't bother da ork much and he just chargez right to where da goblin was pointin at, and starts killin da ghosts. Me and da other gob figgure we better help, soz we chased after him to make sure he doesn't get killed by da ghosts. (we'd be in big trouble if he did)
Soz dis goes on a bit, him fightin da ghosts, and us makin sure he doesn't get killed. Anywayz out of nowhere dis ghost skeleton.. thing attackz us. Bloody thingz floatin, n casting spells, and wut not. Da ork chops it up real good, but da bits of it kept movin, and ran away! What da hell!
Dat big ork just killed da bitz though, as if it was nuttin! Me and da udder gob iz scared real good by now, and we'z thinkin of a way to just leave da ork wittout noone findin out.
We di'nnt ave time, dough, cuz all dis noise musta woke up dem stunties further up da cave. Onna dem shot at us from a path behind we dint even see before, and dat stupid ork runz right at dem, and dere big pile of rocks. (I think dey'z were tryin to block da way up, since dey were just shootin right over da pile.)
Me and da udder gob managed to save da ork dough, since we'z just dat good. We made it all da way up thru the cave, and to da cannonz. Dere was a pretty big stunty who wuz covered in shiny bits n had a huge gun, but we killed him like all da rest. We kicked da cannons off da hill, and climbed up to da top of da tower soz everyone in da swamp could see us. (Whaddya mean I didnt tell you about da tower. It wuz a huge tower ok, shaddup and let me tell da story.)
Anywayz soz we all get to da top of da tower, and dere's a chest! It wuz shiny, and had gemz n all sorts of bits onnit. Da ork kicked it open, and da bloody ting was filled with gold! Wez were pretty excited here let me tellz you!
Da ork dough, he didn't want me and da other gobbo to ave any of da gold. He sez he'd done all da work, and should get all da reward. We started arguin over da gold, and dis stunty just came out of nowhere, and shot an arrow right into dat ork! Killed im dead! So mez and da udder gobbo dragged da loot down da hill, split da gold, and den here we iz.
Whaddya mean stunties don't use arrowz? Dis is my story and dats how it happened ok. If you were dere you could tell da story how you wanted but dis is mine and im gonna tellz it how I want.
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